You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
We childproof our homes, but they are still getting in.
Be nice to your kids…they will choose your nursing home one day.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two aspirin…and keep away from children.
Submitted by BarbBQ
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